Even though it was a few years ago, I remember like it was yesterday. The end of July had finally arrived and it was time. The time Chris and I had been preparing and planning for. I spent that week Googling “resignation letters” and took pieces of templates to create a letter that sounded like me – as much as I could in a letter of this substance. I read and re-read it to Chris out loud over the sound of my stomach doing flip-flops to make sure it made sense and sounded right. That morning, with the letters tucked in my bag, I opened the door to the advertising agency I was employed at with a nervous excitement. Today was the day I was resigning. To most, I knew it wouldn’t come as a surprise, as many knew of my growing photography business and passion for being behind the lens. That day my senses were super heightened and I was overly focused. The clicking of my keyboard seemed a little louder and I slowly answered the phone watching the cord unwind.
Finally the time came that afternoon and the calendar alert popped up on my computer screen – “THE MEETINGS.” The meetings began and one by one I informed my co-workers I was resigning. Everyone was so supportive and excited for me, but it didn’t make telling the next person easier. One of the last people I told of my decision to leave had a response I will never forget. They said, “Soooo you are going to… like, take pictures all day?” It was the response I didn’t know I had been dreading. The one that questioned the sanity of my decision and played off of the underlying fear I had been wrestling with for months. I’m just going to take pictures all day because that’s what photographers do. I mean, what else is there to running a photography business besides just clicking away on a camera. We work in advertising so I know we just eat popcorn and watch TV commercials all day…!!! Kind of in shock at their naivety, I shifted uncomfortably in my chair and with a small half smile, I said the first thing that came to my mind: “Yup.” And that was it. Awesome Ashley, just awesome. That was all I had at the time… But it was enough. I didn’t need to defend my decision or dream despite the good-luck-with-that look on their face.
Weeks passed and the countdown on my desk calendar FINALLY reached zero days… five weeks after that day I resigned (oh my goodness now I know why most people give 2 weeks notice!) I said my goodbyes and as I walked through the parking garage to my car one last time I had the BIGGEST smile on my face. *SIGH* Fighting back the tears and what I knew had the potential to be one seriously ugly cry with tears of happiness, I sat in silence in my car for just a second taking in the moment. I did it. I did it, but knew that the hardest part was truly yet to come. That day I drove home with the windows down and my arm stretched out feeling the wind at my fingertips and my newly acquired sense of freedom…
Looking back at that day, I was so completely excited and nervous, happy and beyond terrified to quit my job and pursue photography full time. Looking back at that day, it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
Here’s to making changes, big or small, that scare us but have the potential to move us closer to our dreams…
Here is one of my favorites from a wedding I can’t wait share on the blog tomorrow! Happy Thursday!
